Over the holiday I had the pleasure of accompanying my sister, her husband, and their 4 kids to San Francisco for a little sightseeing. We started off zooming up Lombard and slowly curving our way to the bottom. A must-do for all tourists! Then we headed off to Pier 39 to quickly peruse the shops. A successful and inexpensive spree…picked up 2 pairs of socks and a 49er lunchbox. Next stop was Boudin’s for lunch. We luckily secured seating (me, the native, knew the secret place to find seats) and the grown-ups enjoyed hearty clam chowder in a bread bowl while the kids feasted on cheese pizza, a turkey sandwich, and shrimp cocktail. Yes, shrimp cocktail. Quite the price tag for lunch…I would strongly lean toward sharing unless you’re lucky enough to have your brother-in-law treating you.

After a successful lunch we had an unsuccessful walk through the fish market. The youngest (3 years old) took one whiff of the fish market and promptly threw-up his ENTIRE lunch while my sister shuffled him down the sidewalk. We thought he only had an aversion to barns, but it appears he has an aversion to unpleasant odors in general. At least he’ll remember my city…even if he says “ewwww” when reminded of the fish market.

The puker recovered like a champ and after a little more shopping my family agreed to a ride on muni! We took the 19 up to Washington Street and then transferred to the 27 heading to Union Square! To my disappointment it was an uneventful ride…except for the frozen look of horror on my brother-in-laws face and my nephew asking why everyone getting on the bus was chinese. Once we got off the bus the 3-year-old promptly walks up to a homeless person sleeping, points, and says “nigh-nigh”. We all nodded…yes…he’s “nigh nigh”. Then after a few blocks my 9-year-old nephew was nearly in tears because of all the homeless. (Apparently not many homeless people in The Woodlands, TX). Being the sweetheart that he is he started giving quarters to any homeless person he saw. Except he accidentally gave one man a penny and that did not go over well. He then increased it by a nickel…still not appreciated. Anyhow…onward we went…next stop the Sir Francis Drake for a drink at the bar and to rest our weary feet. Well, every Sunday Cassandra Cass performs at the SFD in the “Sunday’s a Drag” show. Try explaining drag queens to 4 young kids. The wittiest remark came from the 9 year old…he remarked…”How can she be a boy with such convincing boobies”? Valid question.

We had a great cable car ride back to the Pier and decide to have dinner before going home. We opted for Fog Harbor in Pier 39 which had a kid-friendly menu. There were just a couple missteps here…one drink returned, my niece’s filet mignon was under-cooked and then returned over-cooked. And then a couple questions when the bill arrived…and then more questions when they charged another tables dinner to our credit card (much cheaper too). I would have left and considered it a win, but my “honest-Abe” brother-in-law had the server correct the error. Oh, did I forget to mention that the 3-year-old burned a hole in his napkin at dinner? GOOD TIMES!

That was a very lengthy recollection so here’s a quick recap: Pier 39, lunch, puke, muni, “nigh-nigh” homeless man, give homeless man a penny, drag queen with “convincing boobies”, wrong drink, undercooked filet mignon, overcooked filet mignon, burnt napkin, wrong bill. GREATEST San Francisco adventure ever!!!!

*Names were omitted to protect the puker..but their pics are below.